Abortion - "...as though my very own soul was being ripped out of my body".

(deutsche Übersetzung kann unter "Deutsch" rechts gefunden werden) Today while I was driving on my way to a pregnancy check-up, I was listening to the radio. Dr. Laura read her email of the day which really struck me and I couldn't help it, but cry for a while in gratitude for the miracle Nathan and I are experiencing, and also in anger of abortion.
The sender of the email titled her letter "I killed my child" and explained that when her baby was "taken out", "It felt as though my very own soul was being ripped out of my body. A feeling of spiritual anguish overcame me, which can only be compared with living through your own death". She later explains: "I believe that the spirit of God is inside all of us, in our souls. When I killed his child, I snuffed out the light of God inside me. The absence of this light was my own soul's death".
It is such an immeasurable blessing to expect a little child, a gift from God. I hope we can all fight against abortion and let people know that it is the wrong thing to do. Especially at this time, where we have a US president that supports abortion. I do realize there are rare situations where it is necessary to save the life of the mother, but most of the time it's just to "get rid" of the consequence of their own stupid behavior and selfishness.

Following is the entire letter:
"Dr. Laura,

If you choose my email as 'email of the day', I respectfully ask that you not reward me with any kind of daily 'prize'. I don't want to benefit in any way from killing my child. The purpose of this email is to share my experience, in the hopes that you will read it on the air. I pray that if there is a girl out there somewhere who is considering abortion, she might carry her baby to term, having heard about the consequences of abortion from a woman who had one.

I was raised by a feminist mother who had an abortion after she'd given birth to me. She told me and my brothers about the abortion, and she presented abortion as a value-neutral method of birth control.

When I was 18, I had unprotected sex with someone I didn't even like, because I had no respect for myself. I'd like to say it never entered my mind that I might get pregnant, but that is a lie. To this day, I remember laying back on the bed, thinking, "what if I get pregnant?", then letting my mind go blank. Girls like to claim they didn't think they would get pregnant when they had sex, but in this society, in this day and age, I know that is a lie.

I knew I was pregnant within days of having sex. As soon as I could get an accurate test result, I took a pregnancy test and immediately called Planned Parenthood to schedule an abortion. They told me they had to wait until I was at least 8 weeks pregnant before they could give me an abortion, because before 8 weeks, there was a risk of missing some of the cells. I imagined amorphous nameless cells being removed, much like I might remove an annoying sliver from my finger.

I told my mom about the pregnancy and she was proud of me for being responsible, and scheduling the abortion quickly, instead of waiting and letting my emotions get in the way.

The day of the 'procedure', she took me to a wonderful 'girls lunch', and then she drove me to the clinic. While we were sitting in the waiting room, a girl no older than me came in with a huge belly. She had to have been at least 5 months pregnant. I remember thinking, "How awful, SHE is killing a child. I'm just getting a few cells taken out of me".

When it was my turn, I was led into a large white, sterile room, with a gynecology table and medical equipment. The doctor told me to undress and put on the hospital gown and then he left the room. While I sat there alone, looking around, it entered my mind for the first time, that what I was about to do was wrong. The thought came from nowhere, and it was insidious. What started as a feeling grew quickly, into a knowing. I entertained the idea of getting dressed and leaving, but I decided that I didn't want to have to have a baby. I didn't want to ruin my body. I didn't want everyone to be mad at me, or to think badly of me. I thought, "I can suffer now, for a few minutes, or I will have to have this baby and suffer for 18 years". Adoption was out of the question because I cared more about myself, than I cared about anyone else.

The doctor came into the room and told me to put my feet in the stirrups. Again, this voice inside me said, "STOP", but I pushed the voice away.

Dr Laura, I've heard every argument about abortion being a 'choice' and a 'medical procedure', but I am here to tell every woman out there, that calling an abortion a choice or a medical procedure, is like referring to rape as a lack of communication.

When the doctor sucked my child from my body, something horrifying happened. It was so awful, I've thought about it at least once a day, sometimes in passing and sometimes with great pain, for the last 20 years. This was no medical procedure. It felt as though my very own soul was being ripped out of my body. A feeling of spiritual anguish overcame me, which can only be compared to living through your own death. I was so shaken, I cried out for the doctor to stop, but he said it was too late.

Having given this a lot of thought, I've come up with a few theories about what caused this anguish. I believe that the spirit of God is inside all of us, in our souls. When I killed his child, I snuffed out the light of God inside me. The absence of this light was my own soul's death. The only other alternative I've been able to come up with, is that maybe when a woman becomes pregnant, she shares her soul with her child, the same way she shares her nutrients, until a piece of the mother's soul becomes a part of the child.

I have no decent explanation for what happened that day. I know that I killed my child, and that it felt like my own soul was being ripped from my body.

Not a day has gone by, that I haven't remembered, at least for a split second, what happened that day. Not a day has gone by that I haven't wondered about my child, the one I killed, who had as much a right to live, as I did. My child, who would have learned to love, and to give something to the world.

To all the girls out there who hear this, and are considering getting an abortion, take it from me. It is far better to suffer for 9 months, and give the baby to a wonderful family, than it is to kill your child, and live with that pain for the rest of your life".

Name Withheld